This is how dark I am

*robeobi heaves a deep sigh*

Today was a particularly rough day. Well, to depressed patients like yours truly, every other day seems like the worst day ever. Not that you should take depression lightly. I can’t help it. It’s like I’m engulfed in perpetual darkness – utterly unable to escape it. OK, there are times when I feel happy AND content – but then again, it’s only transient. I’m a bad Muslim, aren’t I? I reckon that I can count the number of times I’ve sincerely said “Alhamdulillah!” on one hand. You don’t want to view the world through my eyes. Everything is black and white. But mostly black.

At times like this, I wish I had a shoulder to cry on. One (best) friend in this whole, wide, ugly world would suffice. Or so I like to think. How can I not have ONE friend, you ask? A (not-really-close) friend of mine once told me that I emit an unfriendly aura – that could not be more true. I am deliberately yet unwittingly antisocial – I mean, sociophobic. I either hate or fear people. (And in rare cases, love-hate them. But I’ve never lurrrved anyone.) And once I hold a grudge against someone, I find it utterly difficult to look at him in good light.  That’s how dark I am.


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